Communication styles
Passive
- Doormat behaviour; sees self as a victim, a loser
- -ignores own rights and allows others to infringe on own rights
- Does not state own needs, ideas or feelings
- Allows others to make decisions for them
- is emotionally dishonest – actions and words are not in accord with feelings. Which leads to suppressed anger and resentment
- Eventually alienates others with negative outlook
- has low self esteem
Assertive
- stands up for own rights and recognises the rights of others
- accepts own positive and negative personal characteristics, and accepts other people’s characteristics
- Respects self and others
- expresses needs ideas and feelings
- Accepts responsibility for choices and behaviour
- Has high self-esteem
- Relates confidently to others
Aggressive
- Competitive: I must win
- Stands up for own rights: ignores rights of others
- Puts others down
- Does not listen to others; Overrides feelings and wishes
- Defensive, hostile; may use verbal or physical abuse
- Has little real self-esteem
- Leaves behind hurt and humiliated feelings
Passive aggressive
- Subtle, hidden behaviour
- Manipulates rather than facing confrontation and risking being rejected
- Gets needs met by making others feel guilty, or by getting others to act on their own behalf
- Appears to think well of others but there is an undercurrent of disapproval
- Leaves others feeling puzzled, thwarted or guilty
- Has little real self-esteem
Benefits of being assertive
- You can stand up for others and yourself
- Become more confident
- You stand your ground and you tell others how you feel
- You become more accepting
- You are more self-accepting
- Become more self-assured (higher-selfworth)
- Be more honest with yourself and others
- Become better to able to express yourself and say not and yes for myself
- Become more aware of my rights and the rights of others.